Scott’s Blog

Work is not going well for me lately.  I really don’t even know how to start.  Somewhere in the last 6 to 8 months we have severely lost focus at my job.  We used to be one of the best departments in the company, and now we are definitely the worst.  Each day is getting nearer to the entire department being terminated, and I have no more chances to turn everything around.

We have a new boss who was brought in to fix the department.  He is not in the least someone I would consider respectful, helpful or trustworthy but he is very good at what he does.  There is very little communication between him and I because I am uncomfortable to approach him believing that he is looking for any reason to terminate me (I have been told by more than one co-worker that I am on the top of his list to be gotten rid of and I have been written off as a lost cause).  He sat me down the other night and I thought we had a pretty good conversation until I found out later he was lying straight to my face about more than a few things.  He is critsizing every move I make without giving me advice on how to make a better decision, or improve my behaviors, and I desperatly need improvement.

I am drowning myself in my duties because I don’t delegate responsibilities.  When I do delegate them, my associates I delegate them too don’t do them.  I’m failing at following up on tasks because the next time im in i have a whole new batch of issues to be dealt with.  The other people in my department that I have to help me are causing me more problems than they are solving.  Today we started a new program, I am almost positive that when I come in tomorrow no one will have completed their responsibilites and I’ll be the one to take the blame.  Blame is being put on my not only by my superiors but by my employees as well.

My job description is to coach and council my employees on how to perform their jobs and I am finding this extraordinarily difficult.  Partly because I am too focused on fixing a problem then fixing the process that caused it, but also because I have never been coached or counciled myself.  I don’t know who to go to for advice because my boss believes that if I don’t know how to do that then i shouldn’t have my position and he will coach or council me.

I really don’t feel I have anyone I can rely on.  Even my best friends at work are causing me stress instead of helping me relax and solve my problems.  I am being stabbed in the back, disregarded, and disrespected.

All the blame lies with me, I know this is supposed to be true.  This whole situation is a responce to me being off set but I don’t know how to fix it.  It am going in the wrong direction but I can’t find a map to get me to where  I want to go.